Saturday, May 19, 2007

Mr. Whipples Potty

Remember Mr. Whipple, the Grocery Clerk who spent most of his career trying to stop horny, closeted housewives from getting off by squeezing Charmin toilet paper? At the end of every commercial we would catch Mr. Whipple squeezing the package himself, and there would be a bonding moment when we all learn that everyone loves Charmin? I have been thinking about Mr. Whipple lately because I discovered something about him that few probably realize .................. he DID NOT have a low flow toilet.
How do I know this little fact about the good Grocer? Because a couple of years ago we moved to a new house. This house has plenty of room for the 4 of us, great location and great neighbors. With the good comes the bad .............. it is new construction and therefore has a set of HIDEOUS low flow pottys (I will be getting to Mr. Whipple in a moment).
A family of 4 living in Washington's high cost area needs to save money where we can, and therefore we have chosen to purchase our staples in bulk at the local Costco (and we can now store them in our larger, new construction home .................but, I digress). So, when the COSTCO coupon for a lifetime supply of Charmin showed up in the mail a few months ago, we put the kids in minivan and ventured off to COSTCO to stock up!
A few days later, we were sitting in our large home, with 4 bathrooms, and 4 substandard cans, and they ALL began to stop up, one after the other. Tom blamed me, I blamed the girls, no one knew how the very little bulk in our diets was creating such a surge in plunger visits to the toilets. This situation was further complicated by the fact that both girls are potty training, and we have had a parade of company. Yuck.
We have finally figured out that the combination of thick, soft and quilted TP and low flow potties was NEVER meant to occur. I have called a plumber, and IF I can find someone to replace my toilets (there is some CODE ISSUE) and IF I can find a decent set of Potties, I will be so broke I can not pay the mortgage in our lovely home. There is only one solution, anyone with a high flow toilet need some Charmin?


Papa Jeff said...

Good luck. In the old days you could flush a brick. Thank you Congress.

Patty said...

Nice. There are some things that just must work. Always.